'He left without saying a word': Wildly insecure guy ditches fiancé after learning about her past

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Ben Weiss • Writer and Editor
Apr 30, 2023 8:00 PM EDT

This dude is just weak! He left his fiancé and fully ghosted her after learning that she was "popular" among the guys once upon a time. It's not like there was any cheating or any truly scandalous event, but that was enough to make this lame guy leave.

 

This thread was posted to Reddit's r/AmITheA**hole subreddit by u/Intelligent_Cup4116, who is the fiancé's sister. She recounted the story from a perspective that also reads as insanely problematic. The fact that there is no evidence of any real wrongdoing besides the fiancé's past "popularity" just goes to show how backward our society is. And say it with me, everyone: if the gender roles were reversed, this would not be happening. 

 

Keep scrolling below to see what people had to say in the comments. For more relationship drama, take a look at this post about a pregnant mom who left her husband and kids for a new guy.

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  • 01
    Font - AITA for agreeing with her ex and not my sister? As a kid, I always looked up to my older sis because she was so cool, pretty, and the popular girl. I always tried to be like her, dressed like her, listen to her music, you get the idea. I was popular the 1st time I stepped through the HS door because I was basically a copy of her. I was overwhelmed by the attention but quickly found out she was mostly popular with only the guys. She "dated" many of the guys in our HS and they thought I wo
    via u/Intelligent_Cup4116
  • 02
    Font - Fast forward to now. Sis must have figured out her lifestyle wasn't healthy so she stopped "dating" a bunch of men, deleted all of those apps, and met Sam. He's very good looking with a great personality and amazing job. He was smart, funny, outgoing, and can own the entire room when he walks in. He grew up in a different city so his family doesn't live here but we've met and they're amazing just like him. Sam quickly replaced us as mom's favorite child and became our dad's best friend. H
    via u/Intelligent_Cup4116
  • 03
    Font - Last week she came to my door looking like a complete wreck. She was crying so hard she couldn't talk. After an hour or so, I calmed her down enough to get the story. Apparently they were at a party and was mingling separately when he over heard some guys talking about her popularity. Sam joined the group and got her "dating" history. 2 of the guys in that group "dated" her and about 4 other guys at that party did too, 1 of whom works with him (which is why they were there). He heard abou
    via u/Intelligent_Cup4116
  • 04
    Font - I helped sis and she's been staying with me for now. She hasn't told anyone and have been trying to get in touch with Sam and his family but they're all ignoring her. Everyone on our side is super confused because Sam just disappeared. Our cousin (my best friend) pinned me down the other day to ask what happened. I told her and she was appalled. She called him all sorts of names and insecure. I said I can understand from his view as we live in a small town and it's hard to know many men a
    via u/Intelligent_Cup4116
  • 05
    Rectangle - vcatacarte 21 hr. ago 53 33 YTA-and so is your sister's ex...she deserves better.
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  • 06
    Font - jenn9ifer 20 hr. ago S Right! Sam is NOT that great of a guy apparently. 11.4k ↓ Reply
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  • 07
    Font - corgwin 21 hr. ago. edited 11 hr. ago Hard YTA. You sound pretty smug and judgmental. That was her past. Sister isn't like that now. She met a great guy, who is apparently judging her past. IMHO, he wasn't the right one for her anyway if he is like that. Is he untouched? I agree with your friend, you should be supporting your sister.
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  • 08
    Font - ETA: We are being asked to judge the OP, not Sam. Hard YTA is for the OP. We don't know Sam's side of the story. I don't know why he did what he did. We are missing information. All I said was that he wasn't the right one for her (if he is like that). Smug means highly self- satisfied. I thought that OP sounded smug in comparing her life choices to her sister's. Sam does look bad for leaving without a word and then apparently ghosting older sister. So why the silent treatment? This is his
    via u/Intelligent_Cup4116
  • 09
    Font - MiddleCommercial3633 - 19 hr. ago . She also sounds like she's crushing on Sam 3.8k Reply
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  • 10
    Font - FoolMe1nceShameOnU. 21 hr. ago YTA And not a gentle one. You're literally suggesting that your sister should be be punished, apparently for the rest of her life (I mean, it's already been nearly 15 years, she's in her THIRTIES), for making poor choices AS A TEENAGER. You know, at that time of her life when we're all insecure, desperately trying to fit in and be liked?
    via u/Intelligent_Cup4116
  • 11
    Font - You admit yourself that when you started high school you were so confused about how to do so that you styled yourself entirely after her like a little clone because you thought that was the best way to go about being liked. Virtually NO ONE makes good choices in adolescence. It's why we have those years.. . to grow and learn. Adolescent brains are literally incapable of fully comprehending the long term consequences of their actions and behaviour (incomplete frontal cortexes).
    via u/Intelligent_Cup4116
  • 12
    Font - And you think that well over a decade later, it's reasonable that your sister should not only be PUNISHED for things she did as a de facto CHILD... but that you "understand" why a grown man who supposedly loved her and was looking to make a life with her would judge her in that way? And you think SHE'S the one who deserves to be looked at sidelong for this, and not him? Do you also use phrases like "used goods" to refer to women who have had multiple partners before marriage?
    via u/Intelligent_Cup4116
  • 13
    Font - Would you react the same way if it was one of the men she'd slept with all those years ago whose partner left him because he'd "made poor choices in high school and 'dated' too many women"? YTA, and shockingly hateful, sexist, and judgemental towards a sister who has never done anything to hurt you. 5.8k Reply Share
    via u/Intelligent_Cup4116
  • 14
    Font - palabasura11 21 hr. ago YTA. This is incredibly sexist. If she had been a guy, it would have been fine. As a woman, i always ask myself that question in any situation. Would it be the same if this was a man doing it. would she have left him if he slept around in HS? And her friends were all talking about it. Or is this a situation created by her exes trying to act alpha around her new man. Crowding around talking about what? How they peed on her tree first? Gross frat guy behavior. And do
    via u/Intelligent_Cup4116
  • 15
    Font - BTCbros4life 20 hr. ago This is extremely "pick me" behaviour YTA 2.3k Reply Share caffeinephase. 18 hr. ago And "I'm not like the other girls 932 Reply Share cocobratz 16 hr. ago Seriously, the whole 'everything SHE did I did the OPPOSITE' part was so unnecessary
    via u/Intelligent_Cup4116

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